Finnaly after that long period of time without being able to live
with my parents,
my dad was able to find a two bedroom apartment.
that was when my friend showed me an audition notice that he had
ripped out from a magazine.
"audtion for singer"
something about that notice caught my attention.
"this is the way that i'm supposed to go~...this is the right
for me. yes! this is it!"
there was not a lot of time left before the audition.
"o.k.! let's do it!"
from that day on, i practiced 7/11... *no wait...maybe it's 24/7...*, day and night.
and because i was on vacation at that time, i didn't have to
about school work.
i practiced with some kids my age. at the audition,
first thing that i had to do at the audition was sing.
so i sang,
yoo young jin's "geu dae yae hyang gi" this was a song i
liked and had sung every time i went to norea bangs.
second task was to dance.
to tell the truth, i felt confident about the dance part. since i
been dancing all my middle school/high school life.
third task was a human test.
(this means talkig with the people and them seeing what type of
i didn't know it back then,
but now i know that what they look for is modesty, and sincerity.
if you were not modest or sincere, then you had nothing.
the people judging you wouldn't even give you a second look.
a few days after the audition, a call from sm came. they wanted
arrange a meeting with me.
my parents had accepted the fact about me being a singer.
when i went to this meeting, my mom and my dad had come with me.
"i'm a singer!! a singer!!"
I started to get into dancing when i was in middle school. i
dancing so much that every day after school ended i would go to
school gym/theater stage and dance anything that i wanted.
i was simply only copying the dances that i saw on tv. just
impersonating the dances that i saw. after school ended i would
practice dancing, and after practicing dancing, i would go home
watch dancing on tv.
during middle school, i loved dancing so much that all i remember
till now is dancing alone.
but when i got into high school,
i grouped up with two twin brother's and 3 other guys to form a
these guys had come from the states, so they were into rapping
unlike most korean students in korea.
first, we decided on a team name.
the hacker that is used in computer terms.
hacker became very famous between all the local people.
we would perform in talent shows held in schools and other
my nick name back then was yellow pants.
the girls that watched us perform, didn't know our names, so had
call us by what we wore.
so i became yellow pants.
most of my dances, all involved using my legs.
that is why i wore yellow pants.
(uhm. i don't get this either. i think it's because yellow pants
baggy or something so he had lots of room inside his pants to
around his legs? or..something. i don't know.
maybe yellow pants were magic or something...)
i still have some home videos of me performing back then.
every time i watch me back then, i can not help but laugh.
there was one time when i showed one of these videos to my h.o.t
they all burst into laughter too.
kangta sais that he remembers me from back then.
he sais that there was one time when moon hee jun had come to his
school to perform and he remembers seeing him.
"hyung, you were really popular back then! when i saw you then, i
knew that you were going to make it big. like right now."
what a nice guy kangta is. he noticed me way back then~..
i was known as yellow pants back then, but i was also known for my
"a star must look like a star!"
during school, i was a hard working student, but in the summer, i
so, like a star, i changed my hair like a star.
not brown~...but yellow.
i not only liked the idea of dying my hair, but i liked the
i would like to take this oppertunity to thank the 'mo hair salon'
noona, for dying my hair for me that time knowing that i was only
high school student~..
" you look great~! but isn't this a little tooo yellow?" the salon noona had told me.
my mom would say,
" your hair looks pretty!"
" very mo shis oue!" (thanks mom!)
instead of trying to get me not to do things, my mom trusted me
i would do the right thing on my own.
"i can not dissapoint my mother who trusts me so much."
My parents were living in a tiny room, but i didn't care. i just
wanted to live with them.
there is this one time when i whined to my mom.
the my mom would say to me,
"we have to stay like this for the time being. i miss you and hae
so much that i think i'm going to go crazy! but this situation
doesn't give us any more options. just for a little while~...just
a little while and we could all live together again~..."
a high school student whining to his mother...
those few months not being able to live with my parents, i fell
people refered to me as the "bright" one, the "fun" one.
but not at this period in my life.
i did not talk. not even to my closest friends.
every day after school,
i would come back home from school, plop down onto my bed and
the following morning my eyes would be all sagged. (like some one
who's been crying all day)
my uncle would say,
"what's wrong hee jun? did you cry?!"
"no~..i think that i slept too much. and didn't you know? my eyes
usually just like this..."
i tried to put this situation behind me and work as hard as i
all i could think of was,
" i must do good in school so that i could live with my parents."
the most saddest thing about this, was that i couldn't practice
singing and dancing.
i would turn on my music and dance in my room, but i could tell
my uncle and aunt didn't really like it.
back then and now, my personality has changed a lot.
back then i was loud and bright in the inside.
but now i guess i am loud and bright only on the outside.
to tell the truth,
being h.o.t's leader and everything, i feel that that is my job.
what i do on stage, because i feel that it is needed.
just because i feel bad and upset, showing that image to my fans
something that i cannot do and is not possible to do.
TO ALL FANS~ this bright and happy hee jun on the outside, has
of sadness and hurtness inside of me~..sniff..sniff..
(he actually wrote that, the sniff sniff part. i didn't make it
because of this inccident of being poor and not being able to
with my parents was a very valuable life lesson for me.
if i had grown up without having his experience and being just
another, "rich famailies boy"
then i probably wouldn't be the person that i am today.
Infront of my mom, i was able to be loud and be myself, but my dad was a different story. my mom treated me as the
youngest rather then
the oldest. when people saw me and my mom together people would say to my mom, " that must be your youngest!"
but my memory of my dad is scary. there was this one time when my dad had told me not to go to any arcades, but i
did and got caught. my dad hated extremely that i went to arcades. it wasn't the games that made my dad angry, but
that bad kids hung around the arcade and that i might get involved with them.
" are you going to go the aracde again or not?!!"
ofcourse i always said that i would never go again.
another time was when i did bad on a test and got in big trouble. it wasn't much the fact that i did bad on the test, but
the fact that the day before the test, i had been out with friends playing.
" did you study for your test tommorow?"
"ofcourse dad! i'll do good, don't worry."
but the test results showed that this was not true..
the thing that my dad hated the most was lies.
that day i got in big trouble that ended with tears flowing down my eyes.
punishing me was not only my dad, but my mom also. this was when i was in grade seven. it was when the japanese
race cars were the "in"
thing. this car cost about $40.00~...
"mom~... please!?? come one!! please!! mom~!!"
my mom would answer back with,
"i'll buy it for you during break so concentrate on school work!"
but i could not wait that long, and the image of the car that i so wanted wouldn't leave my head.
i thought of it like this,
*if my parents just bought me the car, i'd be so happy that i would want to work hard, but if they don't buy it for me,
i'd be so mad and i wouldn't want to work~!!!*
i wanted that car so bad!
lucky for me, that day, my mom had been busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. i quitely tip toed into my parents
bedroom. i quickley opened my
mom's wallet and took the money that i needed.
"YAHOO~!!! finnaly, that car is mine!!"
the following day i bought the car and entered it it a car racing contest, which i got in second place! i put the car into
my bag and proceeded to go home.
but hanni's mom had seen me put it into my bag.
(i don't know who hanni is...maybe a neighborhood pal, or dog or cat or hamster or something..)
" where did you get that in your bag~!!?"
"uuhhh~... my friend gave it to me!"
hanni's mom took me to my mom.
my mom dug through my bag and had found the car.
all i could say was,
i got hit several times which ended with being sent outside in only my underwear to kneel down and put my hands in
the air. everybody who walked by laughed and pointed. i stayed out there like that for a while, my mom ended the
when she saw me outside being embaressed. she couldn't help but laugh too.
did i ever lie again after that?
if i said that i didn't then that would be a lie!
Long time ago there were fans waiting in front of HeeJun oppa's house...
(HeeJun oppa was already in the house..)
Right then, these s2pid wannabe gangsters(--? yangachi) were on their motorcycles going around
and bothering the fans there to start a quarrel..it got up to the point where a fight
almost started...When that wannabe..-- looked ready to fight one of HeeJun oppa's fan's
screamed "HeeJun oppa~~~~~~" really loudly cause she got scared....
HeeJun oppa came out to the veranda and saw that scene...So HeeJun oppa said to the fans..
"Everyone~~Can you block your ears..?"
So the fans pretended(-__-) to block their ears..
After they did that HeeJun oppa yelled at the wannabes..--
"You **** Aren't you gonna f-- off..?"
(Well its not exactly what he said if you translate it to english but close enough..^^;;)
"이 **넘들아 안꺼질래..?"
Kang Ta meeting with fait at lotte world
a meeting of fait with kim lee sa nim at lotte world~!!
i cannot think of this as anything other than fait. this day when
was in grade eight changed my life.
i was walking around lotte world with my friends when a man
to approach me.
"hey, are you good in music?"
"ofcourse! i not only can sing good, but i can write songs and
really good too!"
i didn't even know who that man was at the time, but i just
all this out.
my friends were giving me funny looks because i had been talking
that stranger gave me a business card.
i went home and looked at the business card, tying to decide
i should call the number or not.
and that is how i first got involved with sm.
when ever i was bored,
i would go over to the sm building and watch as singers recorded
their songs, and i fooled around with the people working there.
i never thought of this sm building as anything important untill
was in grade nine.
i watched the backdancers of sm, and to me, the hyungs that
was the most interesting thing for me.
how can anybody dance that good?
while i watched these hyungs dance i would think,
" wow, their really good. i wish i could dance like that~.."
Kang Ta's sad jaak sa lang story
When i was in grade eight, there was a girl in my class that i had
sa lang with. the whole time though, i couldn't even bring myself
to say one word to her, and then one day she moved.
( :*( ... poor kangta)
i thought about that tv show where famous people find old friends
that they lost in touch with.
if i had a chance to go on that show, i would try and find her.
in grade eleven, the girl i liked had very pretty eyes. everytime
looked at her eyes they made me feel warm and it made me feel
" if the eyes are kind, then the personlaty must be kind too."
" i don't know.... i've heard some pretty not good stuff about
but how could i possibly believe that? so i just ignored it and
that it was just a rumor. BUT, this one time, i had a oppertunity
walk by her and i heard the words she used and how she talked
(swearing) and my whole image of her shattered at that instant.
so sadly, up till now, i was never able to feel love.
and that's all. lucky kangta fans~...
and as for tony,
he seems to like older girls~.... :o(
all the girls that he's liked in his past are all his noo na's.
Kang Ta : I shall wear hip hop pants! and, Kangta's first and last lie.
"dad~..i would like to wear hip hop pants."
"i wish that you would allow me too....."
when i was in middle school, i told my dad firmly that i had
to wear hip hop pants.
because of seotaiji, hip hop pants was the "in" thing at the
kids referred to hip hop as "jjang"
but to adults it was, "going around mopping up the streets in
(urghh~!that's my dad.)
"not only bad kids wear hip hop pants..."
i had told my dad since then my intersts in music.
ever since i was in elementry school, i had said that i was
do music when i was older.
"instead, i'll do really good in school too."
up till now, i have never disobeyed my father.
my dad had allowed me to wear hip hop clothes, and as for music
"go ahead and try it"
to keep my promise with my dad about doing good in school,
in grade eight i studied really hard while at the same time i
but when i got into grade nine i started to fall deeper into
and start to forget about school work.
and finnaly when i was in grade ten, my grades were below
being into music and working hard in school at the same time was
harder then i thought it would be.
my dad had said to me,
"you picked music, so just do your best in music. don't worry
if i think about it now, i wonder how my dad could have said this
if my own son had come to me and had told me that he wanted his
to be music, would i have done the same thing as my father?
our family was made up of two boys and one girl.
since we were all around the same age, we had aways had friends
at our houses.
our house was like the neighborhood park.
ever since i was young, there is not one time when my parents
gotten mad at me, or hit me.
but there is one time when i had gotten yelled at.
it was because i lied. something that everyone has done once in
i had told my parents that i was going to the library but instead
had gone to my friend's house to sing and play guitar.
i had forgotten all about the time and soon it was very late at
when i got back home my parents said,
"where were you all this time?"
"mom~..i told you that i went to the library didn't i?"
the look on their faces told me that they were dissapointed in
they yelled at me and got mad at me.
it turned out that my parents had seen me coming out of my
house that day.
my parents that have always trusted me~...without my parents ,
would be no kangta today.
The beggining of Ahn Chil Hyun and the relationship with his brother and sister
" my~! how can anybody be so pretty?"
" you look just like a rich person's son!"
(you know those rich people who have them stuck up, good looking
i would hear these from adults every day when i would walk home
kindergarten, but, to tell the truth, these words bothered me.
first of all, a boy being called pretty didn't really make me
and second of all i was not rich.
when i became a part of h.o.t, all the members did think that i
from a rich family and so did most of my fans~...maybe when this
comes out, everyone will know that i'm not.
i was born in seoul shi sung soo dong.
my father, ahn geung shik (50years old) and my mother, yang young
gave birth to two boys and one girl.
when i was born, my parents had been working in their own little
"ahn chil hyun......"
now it has turned into kangta, but my name is chil hyun and that
what my parents call me.
when i tell people that chil hyun is my real name, they say that
is a peculiar name and then start to laugh.
but this name, chil hyun, is a lucky name. just like the number 7
lucky, the name chil hyun is the same.
how i got this name is another fun story.
"this is one good looking boy you got here. lets give him a name
an old grandfather who had lived by us had come to see me and had
said this. and he had wanted to give me my name.
but my dad had already had a name planned for me.
my dad had wanted to name me "hee sung"
there was a commotion on whether i were to be chil hyun or hee
some people had called me hee sung, while some called me chil
but as time went, people began to get used to chil hyun more and
and the name hee sung vanished.
so i am the only boy in my family that does not have a name with
"hee" in it.And that is how ahn shil hyun came to be.
About Kangta's sister and brother.
My brother, hee joong hyung, who is three years older then me
looked after me. he was strong and tough.
"who is it?! who hit you?!"
if anybody had ever bothered me or hit me, my brother would take
of it all.
because of my brother, there was not one single person who could
touch me or make fun of me.
i liked so much knowing that my brother was there for me all the
but after i debuted and became a singer, i didn't get as many
to see my brother.
then one day i heard that he had to goon dae.
a few months ago, i saw my brother when he came out from goon dae
a little break.
his face was tanned black and i couldn't help but feel sorry for
my sister, who is now a fashion designer always checks my clothes
me before an interview.
"noona, i have an interview today~..should i wear this?"
these days, my sister has lots to think about it seems.
she has just graduated from university and doesn't yet know what
wants to do.
i really hope that she finds what she wants to do soon.
noona! be strong o.k?!
KangTa : 18 questions, 18 answers
1.Q : what if your girlfriend was tone deaf
and lacked music ability?
A : if it were the girl that i liked,
it wouldn't matter to me.
2.Q : what would you describe love as?
A : something that makes you happy.
3.Q : what's your favorite song?
A : yoo young jin's " geu dae yae hyang gee"
4.Q : what is your favorite hair style?
A : short hair that comes up to your ears~..
5.Q : what is you type of girl?
A : a cute girl that makes me happy every time
i look at her.
6.Q : what is your favorite food?
A : egg soup, kimchi jji ggae and dan jjang
7.Q : how old do you want to be when you get
A : over thirty.
8.Q : what is your favorite type of fan?
A : a fan who not only loves h.o.t, but all
9.Q : what is your favorite ride when you go
to theme parks?
A : the squirrel ride.
10.Q : what do you first think of when you wake
up in the morning?
A : today's schedule.
11.Q : what is a habit that you have?
A : falling asleep in the living room instead
of sleeping in my own room.
12.Q : what is your favotite type of sport?
A : (sorry, but i don't understand this.....
he said something about mind exerrcises or something~...hm. i
know.. just say it's basketball everyone....wink.wink..
13.Q : do you have a saying?
A : let's all be usefull people!
14.Q : when do you hate yourself?
A : when someone asks me a question and i
cant answer it.
15.Q : what do you do in your free time?
A : i either study some music or go over to
tony/woo hyuk's house to play.
16.Q : do you want to learn anything right now?
A : i want to learn how to drive.
17.Q : what do you think makes a good love
A : when the actors act with there eyes.
18.Q : if there was a lying contest, what lie
do you think a person could say to win
A : a lie saying that they never lied
Woo Hyuk : The First time in Seoul
the first time i went to seoul, everything was new and unfamiliar
especially the way seoul people talked.
my sa too li wasn't as bad as other people in my village,
but it was still a lot different from seoul talk.
"being a singer and everything.... would it be possible to not
the producer hyung had said to me.
singer..star...something that i have never thought would happen
going past being jang woo hyuk,
and being h.o.t, i decided that i needed to change the way i
using sa too li once in while was o.k,
but using it all the time would have to be fixed.
father, jang jung nam (58 years old) and mother hong moo yun (53
years old) had three boys,
and i am the youngest.
at this time, my dad managed a packaging company. thanks to my
my childhood consists of a big house with a large backyard with
but when i was in grade seven my dad's bussines was ruined.
i was young at the time, but by this, i was very sad and
so from that big house,
our family moved into a single room.
in that room, i watched as my mom tried to hide her tears from
we were able to move back to a house.
but a much smaller house then before.
although our family was having problems,
me being the youngest didn't have to be a part of these problems
much as the rest of my family.
this was because of my mom.
she taught me the impotance of money and importance of real
" even 10 cents is important."
because of this though,
i had many problems.
instead of buying the food i wanted to eat and the toys that i
i saved my money for something that was worth it.
my mom would give me allowance telling me to buy what i wanted to
there was this one time when i saved up to buy a toy car.
(i think this is one of those remote control ones.)
i saved my money without spending for exactly one year.
something that a child my age probably couldn't even dream of
i was known as the kid that saved my money for an year when my
parents could easily just buy it for me.
because of this reason of saving my own money,
when i got the toy car,
words could not express my hapiness.
i was so happy that i would take the car with me when i slept and
sleep with it under my bed covers.
" mom, thank you"
my mom would open her eyes wide and look at me funny.
" what the funny is this kid talking about?"
my mom who used to pack me an extra something in my lunch..
my mom is sick right now.
she tells me she isn't anymore,
but i know.
my mom ... she still is.. but when she was young, she was an
extremely pretty women.
of all the pictures that i have,
i have this one picture of my mom and dad a long time ago wearing
she came out the most prettiest in this picture,
so i have it put away in my diary/planner where it is always with
All were taken from H.O.T forever Book
Notes : Sorry this autobiography not complete coz all I have just this ^^;;